We barely made it

Phewph dudes, that was close. December the 20th saw me dance around falling frogs like Fred Astaire, evade locusts like Peter La Fleur from Dodgeball, and catch Ratfish out of an inflatable zodiac. I am definitely mixing up my prophesies a bit here, but it is inconsequential. Those calendar makers must really wish they didn't skip that calculus lesson on calendar cataclysms. Those 7/11 cream soda slushes were good, but now we don't even know when the big 'splosions gunna be. At least we can go back to looking to the heavens for aliens instead of ridiculous end of days delusions. This talk of cream soda has got me a little nostalgic. Remember the packs of hockey cards that contained that sacred single stick of bubble gum? The gum that you would eat even if the pack was a good decade plus old? You knew you shouldn't eat it - but seriously, how could you not? You would pop it in your mouth, and within 3 seconds it would just disintegrate into nothingness. This gum would break the first law of Thermodynamics every time - energy can neither be created nor destroyed. This stuff just vanished, and you didn't even get to swallow anything. I could go on all day talking about Dunk-a-roos, hockey cards in the bike spokes, Magic cards, etc. but I will stop here. I just wanted to express my relief that we all made it out of the rabbit hole in more or less one piece. Don't drink the Kool-Aid folks...it ain't natural and has a bad after taste.